I met my shadow, here’s what I learned.

Integrating your Shadow energy: Part 3

Improve your life is a weekly newsletter focused on self-improvement.

I write about looking inside instead of outside and doing your own inner work.

If this newsletter inspires you consider subscribing, liking it, or sharing it with friend.

Thanks for reading and enjoy. -Ian

Photo by William Felipe Seccon on Unsplash

Mission Update: Trusting the resonance

I am fascinated by inner work. I started writing on the topic of the shadow, and before I knew it, this was a three-part series. 

These posts came through me; that’s the only explanation I have.  

My model is the tradition of writers and thinkers before me who have described these inner work experiences without going too far into their own experiences. The details are unimportant; I want to explain the guardrails and pitfalls you will experience when undertaking this shadow work. 

From here, I depend on resonance to transfer to the highest resonance readers. Enjoy.

This is a three part series, but you can start anywhere. Here’s part 1 here and 2 here.

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Reading this week’s essay will result in:

1. Understanding how to meet your shadow and what to expect.

2. Learning how to move past fear and into seeing your hidden potential during this encounter.

3. Knowing how to take the gold / potential you find and use it to improve your life.

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Meeting my shadow / potential with active imagination.

Last week, I explained a simple version of the active imagination exercise¹.    While working through this exercise, I met a fascinating and terrifying version of myself.  In less than ten minutes, I met my shadow without a doubt.   

The description of this figure is not essential because it’s my shadow, but the concepts are universal. Putting the experience into language is difficult, but I can say that the person I encountered was exactly who I was expecting to meet, but at the same time, not a version of myself I had imagined. 

This man was an older, different version of me, showing me exactly how I would appear if I had taken a different life path.  Down to the clothing and the expression on his face, I knew in my soul that this was me.  

My shadow transferred the knowledge of his / my potential alternate path to me outside of language; I simply knew.  I could feel how this person felt at this stage in life, looking back on his journey.  The emotions were there, and I could feel them; behind the fear, this version of myself was a friend.

When engaged in this exercise, you want to focus on the emotions of the figure you encounter. That’s where the power lies.   This is both intense, frightening, and fascinating.  

Behind the fear, this shadow figure is full of potential.  Because this version of me was 20 years older than I am now, my Self was telling me that I am able to create any version of myself I choose.  That’s what is so important about this process. 

Once you get past the fact that you can see this figure and everything it represents, there is so much to learn.  Once you move past astonishment, past the disbelief that something has happened, you can take it all in.  As I did, you will see into the character and understand what you can become at your fullest potential.  Your true potential hides in the shadow, but it can also destroy your current existence. 

The shadow is the destroyer and pure potential at the same time.  

When you do inner work, you experience results.  Encountering your shadow is an example of these results.  Once you experience results with inner work, you must make choices.  When we meet our shadow in an exercise like this, we will encounter a version of ourselves, which, if allowed to materialize, could potentially completely upend the personality and life we have built.  This new knowledge can disrupt your life because it is full of new potential. This potential is an authentic product of “inner work.”  

Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash

Confronting the destroyer

When you embark on this path of visualizing your shadow, it is key to plan to encounter the destroyer first and then your potential. If you do this, you will arrive prepared to accept whomever you encounter.  

The following passage by Liz Green inspired this entire series. I have added it here at the end to emphasize that this inner work is a journey of many steps. These steps first take us down to see our shadow side. Once we get past the fear, we can slowly move back up and bring the knowledge back to the surface of our lives. 

“You see that the issue of the shadow isn’t a question of admitting faults.  It’s a question of being shaken right down to your foundations by realizing that you are not as you appear - not only to others but also to yourself.  The shadow reminds you that what you value the most may be badly shaken if you let it in…. My client with her strong Saturnian² personality had built up her whole life and self-image around proud self-sufficiency.  The shadow kept knocking at the door, and she kept refusing to allow it entry.  The repugnance usually hides a very deep fear, a fear of being annihilated as the person you know yourself to be… The more crystallized the personality becomes, the stronger the ego gets, the harder you have fought to get things you want, then the more difficult the whole issue becomes.”³

Maintaining a balance

Everything is always in flux inside your psyche, which means that maintaining a balance is everything. 

The balance between your light and shadow, your ego and your self, is how you create psychological stability.  If you are too attached to the personality you have created and show the world, then you will be terrified to see what is in the shadow.  The inverse is that if you are too open to the shadow energy without any personality structure, you will succumb to it quickly, and chaos will reign.  We have all met people on both ends of this spectrum and have been here at certain times in our lives.   

These are dynamics that our culture has yet to explain. 

Everything is fast and loose at every moment; we only perceive that it is not. 

How will this improve my life?

Once you have seen your shadow and moved past the fear of what you have encountered, you will see another version of yourself. 

This version of yourself has exceptional qualities, which, when integrated into your life, will improve it. 

This integration requires allowing the Self to work, which requires your ego to take a back seat. 

The easiest way I know to move the ego back is loosening your grip on your personality and returning to the inner work to learn more. 

Then, you keep repeating the cycle. 

Let go. Go deeper. Move past the fear. Embrace the potential. Integrate. Repeat.

1. Here’s the full exercise to save you some time:

Here is the method that I find most effective:

This is my simplified version of what Jung called Active Imagination (more on this in the coming weeks). 

Sit down with a blank page and a pen in a quiet space.  Take a few deep breaths and envision being in a beautiful and peaceful park, garden or anywhere you feel comfortable.  Take in all the beauty and peace.  

Now put the pen to the page and describe the absolute last person you want to see here in as much detail as possible. 

Imagine this person approaching you and speaking.

• What are they saying?

• Do they have a message for you? (yes, they do)

• What do they look like? 

• Are you disgusted by this person? 

• Do you feel respect?

• Have the colors in the space changed? 

• What does it feel like? 

Write it all down.

2. Saturn is the planet of limitations, boundaries, discipline, and hardship. It represents our toughest lessons in life, and our own relationship with structure, authority, and responsibility. Saturn’s favorite word is “no,” and teaches us how to distill, prioritize, and reject where appropriate.

3. See “The Shadow in Astrology” by Liz Green - essay from the book “Meeting the Shadow” The hidden power of the dark side of human nature”